Not exercise

I did yoga today, and auto belayed for three climbs, but I don't think there's much to blog about on that. But, I really needed to write down my thoughts about the last week, and this seemed like a good place to do so.

I got an email on Monday from the vice provost asking to meet. We met on Tuesday and he was like "we think you're doing a great job. Don't quit. But we aren't going to ask you to be interim director or director. Unless there's no money for someone shinier. In which case we'll have you do it." I was so pissed. Because there are these two deans who have never met me who are driving the decision, and they are thinking about marketing, not student services. They're going to bring in a faculty person as an interim to help with the search for the new Director. But that person isn't going to learn anything about the office or what we do apparently. WTF??  And he didn't know who the person would be, or when they would have more info.

After the meeting I was so mad, I couldn't talk about without crying. I talked (FB messaged) with a couple friends, but only today talked to my boss about it, and of course I cried again. She was pissed too, I could tell her face got kind of red. And she was like "I'm sorry," which of course made me cry more because she's on my list of people I'm angry with (not sure if she realizes that). Then I went to yoga and started crying during shavasana, which was a little pathetic (fortunately dark in the room, so I don't think anyone knew).

A friend of mine and I booked a visit to Kripalu for a yoga and Qigong. We're going to learn to manage anxiety and sleep better. I do have to appreciate the fact that I can afford to just go away to an overpriced yoga center for a long weekend.

I'm going to have to try to get a new title out of this, like Associate Director. This whole thing is just so much bullshit. And that's part of why I can't be Director. I have a low bullshit tolerance. I'd rather be chatting with students, hearing about how they have never seen snow before, or they want to go to New Zealand.