Turned in the Penultimate Paper!

Last night I uploaded the second to last paper in my doctorate! Of course, the last one is a biggie. My dissertation. After I uploaded the paper I started my dissertation journal, set up some rules for myself, like I have to work on it an hour a day, 5 days a week (I'm making the assumption that many days I will get caught up in what I'm doing and work more). Also that I will respond to criticism like an adult, and make changes. Adulting. Hard. And I gave it a name, I decided to call it Drogon after Daenerys Targaryn's largest dragon in Game of Thrones. That would make me Khaleesi, Queen of Papers. I'll have to work at accumulating my titles. Or at writing the paper, one of the two.

Today's workout was full of partner crap, and somehow my partner seemed to know my name. WTF? I swear I've never seen her before. Anyhow, we started with this long lifting series, of which I did 20, starting at a PVC pipe for 2 (not impressive) then 18 more ranging in weight from 35 pounds to 45 pounds - 1 power snatch, 1 hang squat snatch, 1 overhead squat.

Then we did a lot of rowing. I mean, a lot. It was a taking turns thing:
WOD:
1000 meter row
750 meter row
500 meter row
250 meter row
my time about 12 min

while your partner rowed you got to rest. That's a lot of rowing!

OK, time to do my Drogon hour. Working on the beastie. Dracarys!

Cannon Mountain or the Opening Credits to The Movie of My Life

I ate a lot yesterday, and also sat around a lot watching the National Dog show and baking a pie (which then got dropped on the ground and broke my pan. Sad. No pie and I used this organic fluffy shortening that was so good!) Anyhow, today was supposed to be not too cold in NH, and the sun was supposed to be out, so (after some vacillating) I finally climbed Cannon!

Cannon is one of the shorter hikes, just 6 miles, but because of that, it's pretty steep, especially the route that I took up is steep, the way I came down is longer so the elevation is spread out more. On the way up there's a section that's actually got a ladder to go up:

It looks sketchy, but it was totally fine. Of course, like all things hiking, I was alone most of the way up, but just as I got to the ladder a family with dog arrived. I wanted them to go ahead of me because they were moving faster, but then they took a while for the dog.  There were a few other points that I bumped into people, but mostly it was pretty quiet, just me and the trees and snow.  I got to wear my microspikes but not crampons - I saw someone posted on a Facebook page I was in yesterday that he climbed Cannon and I actually asked him what he wore on his feet, and he replied!  Facebook hiking groups are good for some things.

Anyhow, for most of the way up the sky was blue and I was hiking in two layers of pants and two layers of top, plus gloves and a hat. At the top it was pretty windy and cold, especially on the viewing tower. I had to put my jacket on, and the I kept it on as I went down. It was really pretty up top:

One of the nice things/not so nice things about Cannon is that there's a restaurant/bar at the top. It was nice because it was cold out and so it was good to get inside. Plus, I brought less food and drink. (The pound or so I saved was nice because since I was hiking by myself, I was super prepared and brought my new down sleeping bag, which I didn't need of course, but if I fell and broke a leg, I could have survived over night on the mountain.) On the other hand, it was weird to get to the top of the mountain and sit inside a bar - they had Karate Kid on the TV for heaven sake! I bought a turkey wrap and some gatoraide and chowed. I was so hungry. Also, because I vacillated about going, it was kind of late (I started hiking at 11 and got to the top at 2, which is a long time for 2.6 miles), so I wanted to get out so I wouldn't be in the woods after dark. 

I took a different trail down because I didn't want to climb down the ladder, and I thought it would be better to take a longer, less steep route down. There were a few areas that were really steep, I actually butt sledded down a few (the butt is a totally legit 5th limb sometimes). At one point I hit a rock, and I think I'm going to have a big bruise on my butt. But then it did get a lot less steep, definitely down hill, but fine. The trail goes past Lonesome Lake, which was looking amazing in the winter:

There was a caretaker at the cabin, and apparently a lot of people stayed there for Thanksgiving. That would be an awesome way to spend a weekend! It was really nice up there.  Of course, it was also pretty warm, relatively speaking.

As you can see from the picture, it was starting to get a little dark when I got to Lonesome Lake - it was almost 4, and sunset is 4:15. It doesn't get dark for a little while after, but still, I didn't want to be in the woods after dark if I could help it. It's 1.2 miles from Lonesome Lake to the parking lot, so I booked it down (for me).  There were a bunch of places where the trail didn't have rocks and was pretty smooth and just a little downhill. I did a little running in those parts. It was so fun! Because I could get some momentum, and I had my spikes on, and my bright red jacket. All around me the world was white snow and green pine trees, and I was running through, arms out for balance. Like the start of a movie. My feet were killing me, I was thirsty, and a little worried about getting back, and yet it was so fun. Yeah, that's the Opening Credits to The Movie of My Life.  Ish. 

I got back to my car at 4:45 just as the light was really starting to fade. I'm pretty good with my timing like that. I took off my boots and my feet were so happy! Then I drove home without stopping for a hamburger. A good day.

Ran a Mile!

My entire body is sore from the return to crossfit last week, and so I was kind of thinking of taking a day off today, but then realized that's not the best plan. I have to work late tomorrow, I'm doing a Tai Chi class on Tuesday. Thursday is Thanksgiving, and I may hike Cannon on Friday. Which doesn't leave a lot of days. Wednesday and Saturday. And today's WOD had running, but only 200 meter bursts, and nothing that I couldn't do. So, I dragged myself there.

When I left home it was so gross and nasty out, raining and windy, that I thought I would be able to row instead of running. But by the time we were doing our warm up it was nicer, and by the time we were doing the WOD about an hour later the sky was completely blue!  Though, it was still really windy.

We started with a warmup that was three rounds of running 200 meters, alternating with stationary biking. Then we did strict presses in the same combo as Thursday: 10-8-6-4-2. Strict presses are hard, so I started at 35 pounds and worked my way up to 50 for 2. I had enough time that I did 2 sets of 2 at 50 pounds at the end.

WOD: (Partner WOD, one exercises, the other rests)
10 calorie bike (well, it said 12, but I started with 2 rounds at 10, then 2 at 8)
200 meter run

With the warm-up of 3 rounds of running 200 meters and the WOD running 4 rounds of 200 meters, I was just 200 meters short of a mile, so after my last turn, while my partner was biking I made myself go out and run again. It was tough, but I was glad I did it because then it was a full mile!

25 Box Jumps!

Of course at the end of the day today I didn't want to go to crossfit, but it was a tabata workout that looked not too horrible, and I knew I would be sorry tomorrow if I didn't go. It wasn't too bad, and I did all these box jumps, might be a new record for me, though I would have to check.

We started with thrusters, we did a lot of them. 10-8-6-4-2. I didn't make it to my usual 5:30, which was actually good because I need the foam box for box jumps, and that's not in the 5:30 gym, it's in the 6:00 gym. Which also allowed me to get my own weights for lifting! There are more racks in the 6:00 gym. Which was a good thing, because I started at 55 pounds, but then went down to 50 for the other rounds.  Still, lifting 50 pounds 20 times, and 55 pounds 10 is OK.

WOD: tabata, 20 sec on, 10 sec off
Rowing - I rowed 35 calories total
wall balls - I did 55 total
toes to bar - I did 50 knees to chest
box jumps - I did 25 jumps and 10 steps

I was feeling pretty happy with myself for the 25 jumps, that's a lot for me.

We interviewed a new person for my office today, we're going to hire a new advisor.  She seemed good. Good communication and people skills, which isn't my thing, so a good balance. And, she seemed smart, like she got to the office like 30 min early, which I can only assume was to check out what it was like. Of course, given that it was our office, it was like me answering emails and then eating an apple, my boss with her door almost shut frantically working on something she should have done last week, the woman next to me shopping, and one of the researcher complaining about the new paint color (I love the shoe shopper and researcher. And she's right about the new paint color.)

After I was talking to my boss about my next steps. She is apparently dying to put a bug in the ear of the V Provost that I may be thinking about leaving, and trying to get me more money or a new title. Which I gave her the go-ahead on. But, the other thing was I was saying how I love the data and problem solving and planning of this job. And she was like "you should do program assessment." And I was like "I should!" I kinda like it.

Back to Crossfit

It's tough when the membership freeze is over and it's time to return to crossfit, though today wasn't so bad because it was rowing, kettle bells and push presses. At least, that's what I told myself before going. Of course, once there it was torture.

For lifting we did push presses in rounds of 3. I did 75 pounds 6 times!  I was pretty happy with myself on that!  Coach told me I was bending my knees a second time, and that I should squeeze my butt and hold it so I didn't double bend, which was quite effective.

WOD:
80 calories rowing (which took me 7 minutes)
80 kettle bell lunges (since I can't lunge well I did step ups)
60 kettle bell swings (for the kettle bell I used the smallest one)
my time: 15 min 10 sec

There was meant to be a time cap of 15 minutes, but I wasn't going to stop when I was so close!

I found a Tai Chi place in Brookline that I'm going to try next week. I think it could be good for me during the transition time. IDK if I really have the time and energy to add something else to my exercise schedule, but it looks pretty chill. They have a Monday night intro class, I could do that maybe. I never do any other exercise on Mondays.

I have one stupid paper left and then everything else that I do for my degree is for my dissertation. But it's just torture, I am having such a hard time starting it! I got feedback back from my last project, which was like 4 parts. She gave me an A, but the only feedback I got was that I should change something from the first part. Hmm, might have been helpful to hear that a month ago. This program is so frustrating, not because of the work, but the lack of feedback and direction. I'm going to have to try get my current (soon to be former >sob<) boss to be my third reader so I can get advise from her, she does research and has a lot of good ideas.

Kripalu

I was a little hesitant about Kripalu because I went there once before and didn't love it, but this time was very different. The last time I went by myself, stayed in a dorm, and didn't do a program. This time I went with a friend, stayed in a tiny room with her (she could literally brush her teeth from bed) and did a program, and it was much better!  I got a little overwhelmed on the last day by the sheer volume of people, especially the line to get coffee in the morning, but the program was really amazing. And, I totally got my Zen back, which was worth the cost.

The program session was on qigong and tai chi - I've tried tai chi before and felt that it was an exercise for old people. I think I just didn't have the right teacher (or, I'm now old. One of the two.) The instructor was awesome, and we broke up into smaller groups with TA's, and the TA for my group was amazing - if he was in Boston instead of NY I would totally take classes with him.

While I was there I also did three yoga classes, their more intense vinyasa class, which was pretty intense, but also really good, an intermediate class that was chill and really great stretchiness, and yoga dance that was weird but I enjoyed letting my hippie freak flag fly.  At one point the instructor had us shout at another person "you are amazing" and then we each responded "I am amazing" which was out of my comfort zone (and the comfort zone of the guy who I was yelling at). But OK, I can be a hippie.

There was also a lot of meditating.  Here's what I came out with:

• I am needed at my job for the next year. 
• I could do more, and maybe I should
• I should really think about what that would be
• and then I should try to pursue it
• or not

The or not is about pursuing change. But at least I should consider it. Because now I know where my ceiling is here, and I don't think I'm OK with it.  

And I feel super good that my boss feels like I should be director of the program because I really respect her opinion.

I never mentioned that my meeting with Elizabeth W was awesome!  She took pics after the speeches. I didn't know what I would say to her, but out of my mouth came "You're awesome, I love you."  And she patted me on the back like "there there, you shouldn't drink so much."  (I did have a few, not gonna lie).  My friend who I went with said "you're my hero, can I have a hug?" and she actually got a hug, which I thought was bold because I would be afraid Warren would squeeze the stuffing out of me!  Here's me with the senator and mayor:

Not exercise

I did yoga today, and auto belayed for three climbs, but I don't think there's much to blog about on that. But, I really needed to write down my thoughts about the last week, and this seemed like a good place to do so.

I got an email on Monday from the vice provost asking to meet. We met on Tuesday and he was like "we think you're doing a great job. Don't quit. But we aren't going to ask you to be interim director or director. Unless there's no money for someone shinier. In which case we'll have you do it." I was so pissed. Because there are these two deans who have never met me who are driving the decision, and they are thinking about marketing, not student services. They're going to bring in a faculty person as an interim to help with the search for the new Director. But that person isn't going to learn anything about the office or what we do apparently. WTF??  And he didn't know who the person would be, or when they would have more info.

After the meeting I was so mad, I couldn't talk about without crying. I talked (FB messaged) with a couple friends, but only today talked to my boss about it, and of course I cried again. She was pissed too, I could tell her face got kind of red. And she was like "I'm sorry," which of course made me cry more because she's on my list of people I'm angry with (not sure if she realizes that). Then I went to yoga and started crying during shavasana, which was a little pathetic (fortunately dark in the room, so I don't think anyone knew).

A friend of mine and I booked a visit to Kripalu for a yoga and Qigong. We're going to learn to manage anxiety and sleep better. I do have to appreciate the fact that I can afford to just go away to an overpriced yoga center for a long weekend.

I'm going to have to try to get a new title out of this, like Associate Director. This whole thing is just so much bullshit. And that's part of why I can't be Director. I have a low bullshit tolerance. I'd rather be chatting with students, hearing about how they have never seen snow before, or they want to go to New Zealand.